terminallyGeneticist: A GamKar Fanfic
by HayliiLovesYaoi
Summary: Why has Karkat been acting so strange lately? He sure as hell doesn't know, but Gamzee's not gonna stop until he finds out. How far will he go? And will he accept the reason when he finds out? I sure as hell don't know..well, I guess I kinda do since I'm the writer, but that's besides the point! Find out all the answers in "terminally Geneticist"! Enjoy :)
1. Trollian Chat

I stared, typing furiously at my computer as I normally did. Nothing really interesting had been going on today, but then again did anything interesting ever really happen around here? It was pretty much just the same shit day after day...message on trollian, write memos, more trollian, eat, sleep, repeat. Such a fucking interesting life, wouldn't you say? At the moment, much like most other moments, I was having a pointless conversation with a particular troll I'd seemed to have found myself fond of...if 'fond' was the correct term in this situation. Normally it would have been, but lately things had gotten...how do you say..different. When we were together, I'd find myself looking at him more, doing every little thing I could to get closer to him without even realizing I was doing it at the time. I'd find myself thinking about him all time, sometimes in ways that I'd never even CONSIDER doing purposely. I'd suddenly start to feel strange when he was in my presence; more tense, you could say. Why was I all of the sudden feeling these things? I didn't fucking know, and it was really starting to piss me off. I absolutely hated not knowing things, and the fact that I couldn't understand my OWN feelings just made it all that fucking worse.  
I snapped out of my daze, losing my train of thought as I looked back to my computer screen. Wow, had it really already been ten minutes? I rolled my eyes at the many messages he'd sent during the time I was idle...damn he was so fucking impatient.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] has been idle for 11 minutes-

TC: bEsT fRiEnD?

TC: bEsT fRiEnD?

TC: bEsT fRiEeEeEeNd ArE yOu MoThErFuCkIn OkAy?

TC: bRo

TC: bRoOoOoO?

TC: mOtHeRfUcKiN aNsWeR mE bRo

TC: :o?

TC: hOnK

CG: HOLY SHIT DUDE CALM THE FUCK DOWN, JEGUS.

CG: CAN I NOT GO FOR A FEW FUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT YOU SPAMMING MY ASS?

TC: wHaT tHe MoThErFuCkIn HeLl WeRe YoU DoInG, bEsTfRiEnD :o? HoNk.

CG: I WAS JUST FUCKING THINKING FOR JEGUS SAKE IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOGDAMN BUSINESS!

TC: wHaTs On YoUr MiNd BrO? yOu CaN mOtHeRfUcKiN tElL mE :o)

CG: I KNOW I CAN GAMZEE IT'S JUST...UGH, NEVERMIND FORGET IT.

TC: iS sOmEtHiNg WrOnG bEsTfRiEnD?

CG: NO, GAMZEE, I'M PERFECTLY FINE. GOG, JUST DROP IT.

TC: i DoNt ThInK yOuR tElLiN tHe TrUtH, bRo. IvE kNoWn YoU lOnG eNoUgH tO kNoW wHeN sOmEtHiNs GoT yOuR mInD mOtHeRfUcKiN RiLeD uP. HoNk.

CG: UGH GAMZEE JUST...I GOTTA GO.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]-

Of course I knew I could tell Gamzee anything, we were best friends and all, but in the particular situation, that fact was exactly WHY I couldn't tell him. And besides, how could I expect him to understand when I myself couldn't even fucking do it? There was just no point in trying, I'd most likely do more harm than good, anyways. I logged out of Trollian and closed the window, sighing and slumping forward a little as I blankly stared at my desktop. I didn't really feel like doing anything else...not even the thought of my romcoms appealed to me anymore, which was saying something. I groaned in frustration, leaning back in my computer chair as I put my hands over my eyes, "What the fuck is wrong with me...why am I feeling like this? I just don't fucking get it!" I slumped once more, my hands dropping down to my sides as an almost depression-like feeling washed over me. My emotions had been going haywire lately...when I was around him, I tensed and felt a strange mix of frustration, confusion, caution, happiness, and something else I didn't quite understand; but when I was apart from him, I felt depressed and didn't have the urge to do any of the things I normally did...hell, sleeping had even become more difficult for me than normal. It's not that I was having nightmares or anything, it's just that I'd lye awake for most of the night, not being able to even fall asleep. I knew for a fact that it made me a little more cranky than usual at times, and I sure as hell wasn't the only one that noticed it. At other times, however, I'd be so out of energy that I wouldn't even throw glares or asshole comments at people like I normally did, I'd simply slump around, exhausted, and wave them off saying something along the lines of "Not right now..". And all of this, all of these strange problems I was having, were all thanks to that stupid fucking juggalo asshole.  
I jumped in complete shock at the sudden tap on my shoulder, the unexpected contact slicing through my thoughts like a jagged blade. I spun around in my chair, getting ready to hit the intruder with a barage of colorful vocabulary and probably a fist or two, when I froze at the fimiliar sight. "H-how the fuck did you get into my hive..?!" I screamed, my eyes still wide and my body still frozen from the initial shock. "Spare motherfuckin key, remember?" He smiled his signurature smile, twirling the metal object around his finger, "You gave it to me incase of emergencies." 


	2. The Hell's Wrong With Me?

**Hello everyone! Juuust thought I'd inform you, there will be TOTAL HEADCANNON shooshing in this story xD Not necessarily in this chapter, but definitely in the next. The headcannon is this: Every troll has a different pattern necessary to be shooshed, and some can be more..how do you say..'intimate' than others. Also, the more intimate the shoosh, the more intense the reaction that follows. Another headcannon present here would be that trolls cannot TRULY become Moirails until they shoosh each other at least once. There, juust thought I'd warn you about my strange headcannons x3 Well, I hope you all enjoy the second chapter of "terminallyGeneticist"!**

**HayliiLovesYaoi~**

* * *

"And what the fuck is the emergency?!" I shouted in half-hearted anger, throwing my arms up for emphasis. I could never really be mad at him...and I swear sometimes, he knew it. "I told you, bestfriend, I can always tell when somethin's motherfuckin the matter with you. Now spit it out already, I wanna know." I opened my mouth to protest at this, but he cut me off again, "And don't you dare motherfuckin say 'nothing' like you always do. You know I always end up gettin it out of you anyways, so why not just save me the motherfuckin trouble?" He smiled once again as he sat on the couch across from me, his eyes locked with mine. Damn, he was right...no matter what I did, he'd always know when something was up and he'd always be able to get me to spill somehow. But I had to stand my ground with this one...there was no way I'd even try to explain it to him. "Gamzee, please, you know I always tell you everything, but in this one case I'm just gonna have to say no. It's just not something I wanna talk about.."  
His smile faded at this, a look of worry and concern now plastered on his face, "You're bein motherfuckin serious, aren't you..? Somethin must really be up.." He moved forward, now kneeling on the floor infront of my chair so he could look at me more closely, "What's motherfuckin wrong, KarKar? You're worrying me.." My body tensed at the sudden closeness, a feeling I'd been getting a lot lately. I couldn't help it when my breathing hitched in my throat, my heart beating more and more rapidly as he moved closer to study my expression. I felt my cheeks begin to heat up abit, a subconcious murmur escaping my lips, "What the fuck's wrong with me..."  
"Huh?" He asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion, "Are you okay, KarKar? You look a bit motherfuckin sick or something..?" His hand began to make it's way to my face, and I quickly jumped up before the action could be completed, my face growing more red by the second, "I-I said..I'm th-thirsty..! Yeah, thirsty! Do you want anything?" I practically bolted into the next room, slapping my hand on my forehead and cursing myself for being such an idiot. I walked over and started to root through the fridge...something cold to drink should calm me down a bit. "Uh...yeah, sure," He called from the other room, confusion very evident in his voice, "Do you have any motherfuckin faygo, bestfriend?" A few months ago I would have completely burst out laughing at that question, calling anyone who asked it dumb as fuck for thinking I'd horde such a disgusting drink in my hive. However, I now had a shelf completely stocked with the gross Earth soda specifically for my moirials often visits. I grabbed two, having grown slightly accustomed to the drink by now and drinking it on occasion when he came over. After a while, it went from being completely shitty to not so bad..I guess it was just an aquired taste. I walked back in, seeing him back on the couch and making my way to sit beside him as I handed him the plastic bottle. He snickered, and at first I wasn't sure why...but then I noticed. I mentally slapped myself for letting my subconcious do the picking...I looked back and forth between the red bottle in his hand and the purple one in mine. I knew my face was heating up again, so I quickly looked away, pretending to have no clue what he was laughing about as I opened the bottle and took a sip. After a few moments of silence aside from the occasional soft 'gulp' of soda, he was the first to speak. "So really bestfriend, what the motherfuck is wrong? I've never seen you like this before..you're acting really motherfuckin wierd.." I glanced over, meeting his gaze for a split second before realizing that was a terribly bad idea and looking back to the side, "N-nothing, Gamzee..just forget it, seriously."  
"You know I can't motherfuckin do that bro, not when your all riled up and shit like this."  
"Gamzee, seriously. Drop it.."  
"No, tell me motherfucker."  
"Gamzee, I'm not gonna fucking tell you, just drop it..!"  
"Not gonna motherfuckin happen bro, I'm gonna keep motherfuckin bugging you 'till I get an answer."  
"Okay, Gamzee, you're seriously starting to piss me off."  
"You think I motherfuckin care? I wanna know what's wrong!"  
"Gamzee, just stop!"  
"No! Not untill you tell me!"  
"Gamzee!"  
"Tell me motherfucker!"  
This continued on for about three more minutes before I finally snapped, jumping up and turning to face him as I yelled in anger, "Gamzee I'm not gonna fucking tell you because you wouldn't fucking understand! I don't even fucking understand! I can't explain something to you that I can't even fucking explain to myself you assfuck! Even if I did try to explain, you wouldn't fucking get it! It doesn't make any fucking sense!" I didn't really realize when he'd jumped up too, now standing directly infront of me, "Well motherfucking try to explain, because I want to motherfucking know what's wrong with you KarKar!" There was worry and slight anger in his voice, something I'd never heard Gamzee sound like before. I stopped and blinked, just looking at him for a moment, a look of frustration and concern lacing his features. It was strange..I wasn't quite sure what to think of it. I looked down slightly, "I-I...I'm sorry. I just..I don't think it'll do any good to try to explain something I don't even understand myself, if anything it'll probably just make things worse.." I heard him sigh, resting a hand on my forearm and causing my to tense at the contact slightly, my eyes glancing up to meet with his. "Don't apologize KarKar..I'm sorry I motherfuckin snapped at you. I just..I don't like knowing there's something obviously motherfuckin wrong with you and not being able to do anything about it." It got uncomfortably quiet after that, neither of us moving and our eyes still locked. He suddenly got a look on his face as if he'd just remembered something important, and he was once again the one to break the silence, "KarKar, I need you to do me a motherfuckin favor." I blinked, tilting my head in curiousity, "Sure, Gamzee, anything."  
"I need you to show me how to shoosh you." My eyes widened slightly at the sudden comment, not expecting it at all.  
"...Anything except that."


	3. Tell Me Your Shoosh

"Come on KarKar, we're moirails! I should know how to shoosh you! You know how to shoosh me...and what am I supposed to do when the time comes that I need to and have no idea how? Besides, we can never be true moirials until I shoosh you atleast once." I grimaced slightly at this...I knew he had a good point. True moirails had to know how to shoosh eachother, incase the time did ever come when it was neccisary. And I did know how to do his, infact I'd already done it once when he'd gone on that rampage a while ago...and he would need to shoosh me alteast once to make it official moirailship, but...my shoosh was just so...'different' than everyone else's. No one knew what it was, and I hadn't really planned on letting anyone find out. Besides, I'd always been afriad Gamzee'd abuse it...well, not neccisarily 'afraid', but I did think he would use it to his advantage. Part of me did, however, kind of want him to...wait, no, don't think that shit Karkat! I was completely unaware that I'd spaced out again in my internal arguement with myself until two fingers were snapped infront of my face, "KarKaaaar? You motherfuckin there?" I brought myself back to reality, blinking at him for a few moments of silence before answering, "I don't know Gamzee...I don't really want you to know..I don't want anyone to know.."  
"Oh come on bestfriend, motherfuckin pleeeeease?" Ugh, that look. I hated when he gave me that fucking look. It always managed to make me give in and, once again, I'm pretty sure he knew it. I crossed my arms and looked away, "Gamzee..." It became extremely silent again, and after about two minutes I finally looked back over to him, a sad, slightly pouty look on his face. "Fine...I understand.." He said as he slumped, looking down at the ground. Gog I fucking hated when he did that...  
I sighed, grabbing his hand and bringing it up as I caught his attention, looking sternly into his eyes as I spoke, "Now, I'm just gonna SHOW you. I don't want you to actually do it." His face lit up and he nodded in excitement, a large goofy grin spread across his face. I used his hand, moving it slowly up and resting it on my chest, motioning with a nod of my head that this was the first spot. He nodded happily in agreement, so I continued. I brought it next to my lower stomach and rested it there for a few seconds, a slight blush spreading across my cheeks as I did so. I then grabbed his other hand and moved them both to rest on either of my shoulders before taking them away and letting go of one. I made him stick out his index finger as I moved it infront of my lips, symbolizing the 'shooshing' motion without the actual noise, before bringing both of his hands back up to my hair. I made a motion trying to show that he was supposed to run his fingers through it, but didn't actually make him do so, my hair (and horns) being an extremely sensitive spot. Letting go of one hand again, I moved the other down and put it under my chin in a way that someone would normally do to tilt a persons head up. I repeated the 'shooshing motion' once again, before resting all of his fingers on my lips, showing that to be the last spot. I quickly dropped his hand, my face completely red at this point, but he obviously wasn't done with me. "Wait," he put his fingers back to my lips, "Here as in touch them or...?" He trailed off, knowing that I'd know what he was trying to say. My face heated up even more as I looked to the side, scratching the back of my head awkwardly, "Th-the other.." I glanced back at him after a few seconds to see he was smiling softly, "Oh, so that's why you didn't want me to motherfuckin know..I get it now." I rolled my eyes and scoffed, crossing my arms once again, "Yeah, now will you fucking leave me alone about it now that you know how?"  
"Can I try it out?" My eyes widened and I looked at him in slight shock, "W-what?! Of course not! Why the fuck would I let you do that?!"  
"Well how am I supposed to know your telling me the motherfuckin truth unless I actually test it?" He shrugged and smirked slyly, "You could just be saying random motherfuckin shit to shut me up, for all I know."  
"Gamzee, no! It's not gonna happen! The only way I'd ever allow you to actually do it is if it were a dire situation where it were actually, hmm I don't know, NECCISARY, you fucktard!"  
"Well...what if I make you mad?" I blinked in confusion, not quite understanding what he meant by that, "Huh?"  
"What if I make you so mad that you flipped the fuck out and I HAD to shoosh you, then could I do it?"  
"W-wha-...NO! Gamzee, fuck no! It's not gonna fucking happen!" I stared at him in disbelief, eyes wide. Was he really saying this? There's no way I'd let that happen!  
"Come on KarKar, don't be such a motherfuckin hardass all the time," He smirked when he spoke, his eyes filled with mischief as if he'd just concocted up some sinister plan.  
"It's not gonna work Gamzee."  
"Seriously KarKar, losen the motherfuck up every once in a while. Stop being such an ass all the motherfuckin time."  
"Gamzee, I know you don't mean that." I crossed my arms once more, trying to stay collected but his words obviously beginning to strike something within me.  
"Oh, but I motherfuckin do, bro. Your such a fuckin ass, riding around on your motherfucking high horse and thinking your better than everyone else just because your a motherfuckin redblood which, by the way, doesn't mean shit."  
"Oh, me?! I'm the one who thinks they're fucking better?! YOU'RE the one who went on a fucking killing rampage because we were all so fucking insuperior to you, your gog damn fucking highness!"  
"You're just mad because of your motherfucking shitty-ass excuse for horns, fucknubs."  
At the mention of my horns, and the name that asshole Sollux normally calls me, I felt something just completely snap. I screamed in anger, lunging at him and slamming him back against the wall, "FUCK THE FUCK OFF GAMZEE YOU DON'T KNOW FUCKING SHIT!" That grin on his face just fueled the fire in me so much fucking more, and I completely lost all control over everything. Before I knew what was happening, I felt a hand softly papping at my chest. My hands slowly started to unclench. It was shortly replaced by soft paps on my lower stomach. My body started to feel heavy.  
Next came the paps on my shoulders, and a finger to my lips followed by a soft "Shoooooosh". My breathing started to calm.  
My body shook slightly at the feeling of fingers running through my hair, my eyes beginning to close as I let this strange and enticing feeling begin to run through me.  
Then was the hand under my chin, gently lifting my face so my half lidded eyes met those of my moirial. I felt the fire begin to fuel again as I got ready to attack, but it was quickly subdued by another soft "Shoooooooosh" in my ear. I shivered at the warm breath, my mind completely fogged over as I closed my eyes completely, feeling warm, soft lips brush against mine, before being gently pressed together. Everything went white, a feeling I'd never felt before completely washing over me as I collapsed into my moirial, wrapping my arms losely around his neck in an attempt to stay up. When I came to my face was in his chest and my entire body felt completely limp, his arms around my waist in a strong embrace to keep me from falling. I blinked, still in a complete blissful daze as I felt my legs being swept out from under me. From what I could tell I was being carried, where to I wasn't sure however, but I really didn't care at the moment. I just wanted to revel in this feeling..it felt so..nice. No, nice didn't even fit, it was much more than that. It was so hard to explain...imagine the most calm feeling you could ever have in the world mixed with complete happiness and the feeling of being loved, and times that by one hundred. That's what it felt like...pure bliss. I felt warm and fuzzy, safe and calm...I'd never felt anything like it in my life before. Was this all from being shooshed..? No..it wasn't just that...that was a large part of it, yes, but there was..something else..  
It felt like forever and a day before I could finally use my senses coherently again, and I realized that we were now in my room, sitting on my bed as I stay laying in Gamzee's arms. I was still a little dazzed from the experience, but atleast I could see and speak properly now. I glanced up at him, my eyes still half-lidded as I looked at him soft, careing smile. "W-what...what just..h-happened..?"  
"That's the motherfucking miracle power of shooshing, hun.." I blinked slowly...hun? Did he just call me hun...? Gog, I still must be more dazzed out than I thought. "B-but...y-you didn't react this way..d-did you..?" He chuckled softly, "Almost, but not near as motherfuckin intensly as you do. Everyone reacts to it differently..I wanted to see how you would.."  
"I-I...I'm so gonna..kill you when I get..back to normal...but we can worry about that..l-later.." I smiled slightly, my eyes feeling heavier by the second, "Nnn...I feel..tired...? W-why..?" He chuckled again, "The more motherfucking intense the reaction, the calmer it makes you and the more motherfucking energy it drains..plus you told me the other day you havent been motherfuckin sleeping well, right? Take a nap, KarKar." A sudden worry started to slowly creep it's way into the back of my mind, but I wasn't sure why, "..W-will you-..?" As if he inticipated what I was going to say, he smiled sweetly and answered before I could finish, "Don't worry KarKar. I'll still be here when you wake up."  
I smiled back sleepily before closing my eyes, welcoming the much-needed sleep with open arms. 


End file.
